your teenage is lying to you? do this

When Your Teenager Lying to You - What's a Parent to Do?

Submitted by: Norbert Georget

Teen lying can be a huge problem, because it is the one behavior that can very quickly erode trust between the teen and his or her parents. Because teen lying can feel like such a personal offense, most parents respond emotionally to the discovery they have been lied to. This is because parents really do want to trust their teens, and when a teen lies, it makes parents feel like the behavior goes to their very character.

One thing that is important to understand about teen lying is that teens lie for two basic reasons; they want to cover up for something they have done that they are afraid they will be in trouble for, or they are trying to create an alternate reality for themselves. Both types of lies need to be addressed, but the place to start is in establishing an honesty only policy for your household.

Teens who are lying because they are trying to impress someone at school or are embarrassed about their circumstances often have self-esteem problems that need to be addressed. It’s important that you help your teen learn to happy with himself or herself and not feel the need to be anything more or less than themselves.

While the honesty only policy can be successfully introduced when your children are young, teens are perfectly capable of understanding and absorbing the importance of honesty. As parents, you can help your teen place a higher value on honesty by making it clear that nothing will have more dire consequences than lying. When teen lying is lifted to the level of the worst choice a teen can possibly make, it makes it more difficult to make that choice.

When teens lie to cover up something they have done wrong, it is important to remind your teen that lying will only cause the consequences to be more severe. If your teen is truthful, even if there have to be consequences, you can let your teen know that they are less severe because of how honest he or she was. On the other hand, if your teen lies about an incident and you discover the lie, it is critically important that you address it.

You do not have to worry about catching your teen lying. It will happen. The important thing to do is address it when it occurs. It’s not good for you or your teen to go through life wondering if and when the lie will occur. It’s most important to continually communicate to your teen how much you value honesty.

Many parents forget that they truly are their own teen’s best teacher. Setting the right example about honesty is difficult but necessary. Small things like getting too much change from the cashier and big things like fudging on your tax return both have the same impact on your teen: the actions make it ok to lie because you do it when it is convenient for you.

Teaching your teen about honesty is one of the ways you raise responsible, self-reliant adults who take personal responsibility for their actions. It’s never too late to start.

About the Author: Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you'll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.

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